Out of Sight, Out of Mind

This time he only wanted me in his life for three days before I stopped existing to him again. I think it’s a new record for him. It’s usually after at least around a week. I’m satirically bemused rather than shocked or surprised. I’ve watched myself spinning round and round this same cycle for theContinue reading “Out of Sight, Out of Mind”

CODE BLUE – KNOCKING ON DEATH’S DOOR

2F Jada, my baby, although only 3 minutes younger than her twin. My bonus baby, my curve ball, my perpetual source of medical angst and my most fiercely protected child on both a physical and emotional level. I watched her struggle from the first moments after birth, silently aching with maternal need as she wasContinue reading “CODE BLUE – KNOCKING ON DEATH’S DOOR”

Vodka Steps Up

2c I’m unsure whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity of the situation. The situation being my current physical location, in my current emotional state, for want of a better word. I’ve been crying, and again teetering on the brink of another flood of tears. I’m tired, in the mind and body, but mostContinue reading “Vodka Steps Up”

GENESIS

(Ed – written 4 years ago as the introductory chapter to my so far unfinished/unpublished book Lover Not a Fighter) Choose to end my marriage was probably the most difficult and conflicting decision that I’ve ever been faced with in my 35 years. It’s been six months now. Some days I feel it like aContinue reading “GENESIS”

Behold: An Epiphany

I had tried many times, over about two years, to separate from Peter. I guess I wasn’t quite ready emotionally, because I could never quite go through with it. It would hurt knowing I was hurting him, and there was also something to corrode my resolve. Sometimes he’d threaten suicide. Sometimes he’d attack my selfContinue reading “Behold: An Epiphany”

You spin me right round, baby, right round…

This is why I can’t have nice things. I am stupid. After a week of lunging with outstretched arms to catch every morsel of incongruent vulgarity he vigorously slung my way, the general theme can’t be mistaken. You know you’re dealing with an imbecile when every attempt to communicate is received with streams of randomContinue reading “You spin me right round, baby, right round…”