Out of Sight, Out of Mind

This time he only wanted me in his life for three days before I stopped existing to him again. I think it’s a new record for him. It’s usually after at least around a week. I’m satirically bemused rather than shocked or surprised. I’ve watched myself spinning round and round this same cycle for theContinue reading “Out of Sight, Out of Mind”


3A 3 Apparently, once you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up. I call bullshit. I pity the naivety of the fool who is incapable of realising (italics) that there is no limit to how bad things could get. I resent the implication that I was ever at rock bottom. I wasn’t defeated.Continue reading “ROCK BOTTOM”


2F Jada, my baby, although only 3 minutes younger than her twin. My bonus baby, my curve ball, my perpetual source of medical angst and my most fiercely protected child on both a physical and emotional level. I watched her struggle from the first moments after birth, silently aching with maternal need as she wasContinue reading “CODE BLUE – KNOCKING ON DEATH’S DOOR”


2E My humbly beautiful, sweet, Indi, with her vast emotional intelligence and incredible mind. I consider her as the most dependable and trusted person in my life. My equal in so many ways, even at 12, but surpassing me entirely in her gifts. My gorgeous, sparkly Kiara. My shining star who brings light and laughterContinue reading “I’VE HAD FOUR KIDS DAMNIT”

Vodka Steps Up

2c I’m unsure whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity of the situation. The situation being my current physical location, in my current emotional state, for want of a better word. I’ve been crying, and again teetering on the brink of another flood of tears. I’m tired, in the mind and body, but mostContinue reading “Vodka Steps Up”

Losing my Best Friend to the Bike Club

2C Peter found his niche in that club. In hindsight, it filled a void for him that I obviously couldn’t. Once upon a time, our social lives were predominantly each other. He was my other half. I felt he’d rejected me for the club. I was second choice, yet again.  The twins were two, andContinue reading “Losing my Best Friend to the Bike Club”


2B In time, I grew to respect the strength of my beautiful flatmate HMS for her remorse-fuelled honesty. Integrity means doing the right thing, even when nobody is watching. She risked my fury and my friendship to give me the respect of the truth. Very few people are compelled towards proper honesty especially when thereContinue reading “GIRL CRUSH IN A STRAIGHT WAY”