IN THE SHALLOWS

Hark, people. I have a rant.

When you are somehow offended by the clothing choice of others, and feel the need to discuss with others your derogatory opinion of another’s clothing choice, then it’s YOU with the issue, not the person you are talking about. When did you become so righteous and perfect within your own appearance that somehow you became better than another, and in a position to deem someone else unworthy of social acceptance? If you relate the way someone chooses to dress with certain lifestyle attributes, that’s only a reflection of your own ignorance and inability to accept or understand anything besides your own rigid definition of how to gain acceptance socially. If you really feel so strongly about the appearance of another that you feel uncomfortable in their physical presence, or seeing selfies or photos on Facebook, then I pity the insecurities you probably don’t even realise you’re plagued with. When you look down on someone for how they dress, for whatever reason you think it’s justified, what you’re really doing is trying reassure your own ego that you are part of the ‘socially accepted’. The moment you open your narrow-minded word hole and make the appearance of another a topic of discussion, or humour, or a reason for social exclusion, you become a bully. Yeah, I went there.

Never once have I claimed or believed to be anything but flawed. I’m not skinny, but I don’t hate myself. Get over it. I have freckles and a few grey hairs. Still don’t hate myself. I’m 36 and I’ve had four kids, but that doesn’t forfeit my right to choose my own clothes. I know what I look like better than anyone, and know all my imperfections, strangely enough, like the back of my hand. Stretch marks, cellulite and scars. Guess what? I still don’t hate myself, and honestly, why TF should I? Why would so many (mostly) women feel more comfortable with me if I hated my appearance? Would those nasty (mostly) women prefer I dressed like them, hanging my head with the shame of an imperfect body and face? God forbid someone catch a glimpse of the dreaded thigh jiggle, or notice my squishy, battered mid-section through my singlet top.

Here’s a thought… how about judging others based on their merits, their kindness or their abilities? Assumptions based on another’s appearance say nothing about the victim, and instead make the bitterness and insecurity of slanderous gossips transparent.

I’m sighing. At the end of the day, it should be water off a duck’s back, however it always stings a bit to be the subject of needless defamation. Those who know me know I like to be liked. I laugh readily, and give my genuine smile freely. I’m not nasty, or cruel, and have no interest in gossip. I stick to myself, and my small trusted circle of close friends. I don’t create drama or cause trouble. I’m not competitive, confrontational or materialistic.

The day I allow my self worth to be dictated by a benchmark of the shallow and the ignorant will be the day I lose respect for my own intelligence. I’ll be damned if I let myself drown in the depths of another’s insecurities.

High five to all you people of substance.

(Ed – written 3 years ago but I maintain my ferocity on the subject)

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